Three Quick Ways to Get Low Self Esteem

If you are interested in nurturing low feelings of self worth, there are some tried and true ways to get it.  Here are a few of my favorites.  See if they sound familiar.

1.  Base your feelings of value or self worth on THE STUFF THAT YOU HAVE.  Anything works here.  If you feel good about yourself BECAUSE you have a nice car, house, clothes, haircut, body, abs or perm, you are setting yourself up a fantastic dose of low self worth the moment the status of those things changes.  The inverse is also true: if you feel that you aren't of much worth because you live in a trailer park, are overweight, drive a clunker, or have a bad hair day, you are allowing THINGS of a very temporal value to determine YOUR value.  Very effective way to feel bad about yourself most of the time.  

2.  Base your feelings of value or self worth on your ACHIEVEMENTS: Is your PhD, Academy Award, Grammy, Honor Roll or dazzling intellect defining your worth and keeping you afloat?  Is your D- high school dropout status helping you feeling inferior or like less of a person?  

3.  Base your feelings of value or self worth on your CHILDREN'S actions.  Feel like you are a good person because your kid got a full ride to Harvard?  Feel like a loser because your teenager has a pierced nose, orange hair, and hasn't bathed in several weeks?  Good work. You are well on your way to being tossed to and fro.  

The truth is that we are all here in a really great costume party.  That's it.  What you and others live in, drive around or fit into is all very temporal, and has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR WORTH.   If you let any of these things determine your worth or define your value, you are allowing your feelings of worth to be fleeting at best.  Welcome to the Self-Esteem Roller Coaster ride.

What then can you possibly anchor to in this crazy crazy world?  Here it is.  Read it carefully and then read it again.

Your worth and value as a person was established long before you began your earthly experience.  You are of infinite worth and value.  You are loved and cherished beyond comprehension.  You are unique and one of a kind.  Nothing that you could EVER say or do would ever change that truth.  Nothing.

The ONLY reason that you should ever be interested in changing your behavior is because what you do or don't do will directly affect the quality of your life experience.  Certain choices will allow you to feel your innate value more keenly, and feel the security and anchored-ness that comes from that.

Listen to "I Love, Honor and Respect Myself" for a quick reminder once in a while of what it is really all about.

Beware The Grudge.

Those of you who have ever felt wronged, insulted, slighted or disappointed, please raise your hand now.

Having a tough time letting go?

If your view of that lovely image (see above) displayed on your computer screen is not currently being obstructed by an upraised palm, you are a very, ridiculously lucky individual. Or a liar. No offense.

We all deal with challenges, or, to be more accurate, challeng-ers. People who do or are things that seem to have a way of offending us. Our inevitable interaction with these people is impossible to change. On the other hand (speaking of upraised palms), how we choose to deal with them, most definitely is.

Holding a grudge is not the way to go. It’s time to just come out and say it. When we hold onto an offense, cling to a time we’ve been wronged, refuse to forget a misdeed, it ultimately ends up hurting us. When we’re stuck in the past, how can we look to the future?

Although it may seem a little cliché to tout forgiveness as a vital practice needing to be incorporated into every area of our lives, at the end of the day it really is. Learn to forgive, forget and move-on, and learn to progress in your life in a way you never before knew you could. Release the grudge, cleanse your mind of the terrifying image displayed above, and get ready to embrace success in your recently horror film/resentment cleansed life!

If you need a little help really letting go, try a few of these recordings in the "RELATIONSHIPS" section at mythoughtcoach.com.  They are written to help you do just that.  "Affirmations for Forgiveness," "Release Jealousy and Anxiety" and "Let Go of Anger and Resentment."