If you are interested in nurturing low feelings of self worth, there are some tried and true ways to get it. Here are a few of my favorites. See if they sound familiar.
1. Base your feelings of value or self worth on THE STUFF THAT YOU HAVE. Anything works here. If you feel good about yourself BECAUSE you have a nice car, house, clothes, haircut, body, abs or perm, you are setting yourself up a fantastic dose of low self worth the moment the status of those things changes. The inverse is also true: if you feel that you aren't of much worth because you live in a trailer park, are overweight, drive a clunker, or have a bad hair day, you are allowing THINGS of a very temporal value to determine YOUR value. Very effective way to feel bad about yourself most of the time.
2. Base your feelings of value or self worth on your ACHIEVEMENTS: Is your PhD, Academy Award, Grammy, Honor Roll or dazzling intellect defining your worth and keeping you afloat? Is your D- high school dropout status helping you feeling inferior or like less of a person?
3. Base your feelings of value or self worth on your CHILDREN'S actions. Feel like you are a good person because your kid got a full ride to Harvard? Feel like a loser because your teenager has a pierced nose, orange hair, and hasn't bathed in several weeks? Good work. You are well on your way to being tossed to and fro.
The truth is that we are all here in a really great costume party. That's it. What you and others live in, drive around or fit into is all very temporal, and has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR WORTH. If you let any of these things determine your worth or define your value, you are allowing your feelings of worth to be fleeting at best. Welcome to the Self-Esteem Roller Coaster ride.
What then can you possibly anchor to in this crazy crazy world? Here it is. Read it carefully and then read it again.
Your worth and value as a person was established long before you began your earthly experience. You are of infinite worth and value. You are loved and cherished beyond comprehension. You are unique and one of a kind. Nothing that you could EVER say or do would ever change that truth. Nothing.
The ONLY reason that you should ever be interested in changing your behavior is because what you do or don't do will directly affect the quality of your life experience. Certain choices will allow you to feel your innate value more keenly, and feel the security and anchored-ness that comes from that.
Listen to "I Love, Honor and Respect Myself" for a quick reminder once in a while of what it is really all about.