What if things don't quite work out?

A recent study by Peterson, Seligman and Vaillant found that men in their twenties with pessimistic thinking tendencies predicted poor physical health when those men reached their forties and fifties.

According to the study, when an unfortunate event occurred this group of men tended to blame themselves, tell themselves that they would never improve, and believe that misfortune would spill over into all areas of life. For example, after failing a math test a pessimist would think, “It’s me—I’m a failure; I always mess up on math; I am always unlucky when things really matter.”

Those with more optimistic patterns of thinking fared dramatically better in their physical health years later.

A different study indicated that similar thinking styles also tended to be a good predictor of drug and alcohol addicts who would completely relapse after slipping vs. those who would be able to bounce back after a similar stumble.

Choose carefully the inner dialogue going in within you during each phase of a stressful event: before, during and after.

Here are a few examples to help mentally prepare for a stressful event with an uncertain outcome:

• It will be fun to succeed, but not the end of the world if I don’t.
• What lies before me is an opportunity and an adventure, not a problem.
• I will aim to do the best that I can. I won’t ruin the experience with perfectionism.
• I have as much right as anyone to try my hand at this.
• I am embarking without absolute certainty of all the facts and outcomes, and I’m okay with that.
• My focus is on development, not mistakes.
• I’m not afraid to risk and fall short because I know that my worth comes from within.
• What really, is the worst that could happen?
• This could possibly end up being one of the best experiences of my life.
• Relax and enjoy the process, glitches and all.

For a little more direct help, try listening to "Dealing with Setbacks and Mistakes" at MyThoughtCoach.com. These recordings contain affirmations to use before and during stressful events, and one to use for the times when things don't quite work out the way you wanted. They will each help you maintain optimism and retrain your brain during the times you need it most.